Moment with Will

I think I should have been selected to be Cuba’s New President.  I’ve worked hard to be where I am today.  I think it’s important to select someone who has never been to Cuba.  How about a new face in Cuba?  Think about it, a fat white guy as president of Cuba. Think about it.

Seriously though, the list below should be more then enough to convince anyone of my qualifications for President of Cuba.

• I know the difference between right and wrong and I know that two wrongs don’t make a right.

• I’m very experienced with Cuban culture since I really like Cuban sandwiches.

• I’ve smoked a Cuban cigar or two.

• I have seen former President Fidel Castro on TV once or twice.  By the way, he speaks Cuban.

• I can find Cuba on a map, if I look for it.

• I can spell Cuba.  Better yet, I can spell Cuba backwards.

• I can speak enough Spanish to order a beer and find the bathroom.

• I would be willing to help Elián González with his homework.  We would be good friends.  We would give each other high fives and shit.

• I will fart in the face of corruption and intolerance.

I’m obviously more then qualified.  I can speak Spanish.  I can smoke cigars.  I like Cuban sandwiches.    I can’t believe that I wasn’t even considered, bullshit.

I have good news.  A new video will be posted very soon.  I can’t wait.  In fact, Amy says it could be the funniest videos thus far.  That’s exciting.  I’m so exciting that I pissed my pants a little.

This last video was done right.  We talked about it for a little bit.  We tried different approaches and most importantly, I didn’t drink too much.  It will be awesome.

Why does poor grammar and foul language give people fifteen minutes of fame?  I recently watched a certain singing contest on television and one particular person is now being interviewed on several shows including Howard Stern for using poor grammar and foul language.  I don’t think that person has anything to offer the mass media except ideas of grandeur.

I use lots of poor grammar and foul language and nobody ‘be’ knocking on my door for an interview.  I must not be at the right place at the right time.  I have two people who read my blog and watch my videos.  Why can’t I have fifteen minutes of fame?  I put a lot into my blog and videos.  I talk a lot about how much of a douche bag I am and how much I love drinking beer.  Is that not exciting enough?

Should I be talking about who should win the Primary in Pennsylvania?  Let’s be honest the Democrats should take PA.  I think Pennsylvanians like the red, white, and blue donkey.  There is nothing better then a colorful jackass.

Maybe I should mention that I think it is ridiculous that Lindsey Lohan must complete two four hours days in a morgue to fulfill her drunk-driving punishment.  Celebrity or not, lets do it the old-fashioned way.  Put her drunk-driven ass in jail and let her sweat it out. May I remind everyone reading, if a person kills someone in a drunk-driving accident, they do not go to the morgue.  They go to jail.  Unfortunately for the victim, they do go to the morgue.  Why should someone have to be forced to look at some old guy’s shriveled up ball sack in the morgue anyways?

Back to my main point, I want my fifteen minutes of fame.  This is why word of mouth is so important.  Spread the word about the Moment With Will.  Buy a t-shirt, tell a friend, and kiss a toad, whatever you want to do.

I just introduced some new t-shirts and stickers will follow soon.  I will be making business cards as well but word of mouth is the most important.  You could try bringing it up in conversation.  For example, when around a group of friends say, “I was looking up herpes medication and I stumbled upon this awesome website called the Moment With Will.” While you are watching adult films with a friend, casually mention this awesome website.  You could say, “That boner is awesome, check out the Moment With Will.”  See how simple that is?  Try drinking a whole beer in one minute then burping the words, moment with will.  In fact, record the burp and I will use it in my next video.  Try mentioning it at one those kissing parties.  Say something like this, “Man, your ass is chapped, check out the Moment With Will.”

Feel free to email me, if you need more ways to how to spread the word.  I can give you many more examples for many more social settings.

That’s all for now, buy a t-shirt.

This year was awful for the Moment with Will.  I have to apologize to the two people who read it.  I made very little effort this year in posting commentary and videos.  Last year, I posted almost double the material. I will make it my undying effort to post more this year because believe me, I have plenty to say.  I will have more to say about everything.  In my opinion, that is the one thing that has made this site so popular.

It will be back to basics.  When I say back to basics I mean back to basics.  Actually, back to basics means I will be making more fun of people and using more explicit language.  As a matter of fact, I will be posting the 26^th MWW video on January 6, 2008.  The video is definitely back to basics.  It is Will being Will not Will being some quirky character with some witty name like Hugh Chardon.The MWW in 2008 will be all Will all the time.  I will be taking back full reigns.  The MWW has always been about me.  I invite everyone to Ask Will this year.  I invite everyone to give me serious feedback.

In 2008, I will generate a MWW buzz and not a buzz from drinking six beers.  You know when whole bunch of people think something is cool for a couple of weeks.  That is what I will be creating this year.  People will be talking at the water cooler about the MWW this year.

Thanks for reading and Happy New Year.

Most of you may have thought the Moment with Will as you know it was gone for good. You were wrong, very wrong. You couldn’t have been more wrong then wrong is wrong. Two wrongs don’t make a right. You get the idea.

First off, a lot happened since the Fast Food and Me post on March 6^th. Six months of news passed and I didn’t even comment, Michael Vick and Chris Benoit being on the top of my list. I just don’t think it would be right to comment on the old news.

Today, I thought I would get everyone up to speed. Firstly, I turned 30 and I’m still a douche bag. That ought to sum everything up. Good, we are all up to speed.

Just to comment being 30, my life is moving faster and faster for me. Everyone always told me that once you turn 30 the months become days and so on. I look back at the summer and I can’t believe that it is gone already, since it is already September 13th.

That brings me to my next point; Tuesday marked the 6^th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. A new Osama bin Laden tape has emerged. It disgusts me that Osama bin Llama can still celebrate the hijackers or “martyrs” who killed 2700 people. All the while, we should be embracing Islam. All religion aside, I think this violent approach is ridiculous. Osama bin Laden can embrace our western asses with his lips.

Moving right along, Shawn and Cassy are tying the knot this weekend. Congrats to the both of them. I wish them all the best. Shawn and Cassy are good friends and I’m proud to be part of their special day. Let’s be honest, marriage is a great institution, sort of. It is wonderful having someone in your life that loves you to no end, sort of. It is delightful to see your spouse’s smiling face every morning, sort of. Either way, good luck and I wish all the best.

I hope this post satisfies all your MWW cravings for now. I will have more to follow and be safe. Don’t open any envelopes with white powder in it and don’t forget to buy Forever Stamps. It’s stupid to have to buy 1¢ stamps every time USPS raises the price of stamps. Buy a lot, buy all of them. Don’t do it for me, do it for commerce.

Be kind, rewind.