Moment with Will

The one thing that looms over the Super Bowl or what we should call the party weekend of the winter is the end of the NFL season.  This season for me was all about two teams potentially having perfect seasons.  The first team being the New England Patriots at 18-0 and going to the Super Bowl to face the ‘come from behind’ New York Giants.  The other team, which by the way hurts me to say, is the Miami Dolphins with finishing the year at 1-15.  They were of course one win away from a perfect 0-16.  That would have just made a more miserable season for everyone on the Dolphins train.  The good news is that the Patriots were 1-15 back in 1990 and have won three maybe four Super Bowls in the last ten years.  Things are looking up for the Dolphins.

In any case, my head tells me to pick the Patriots as Super Bowl champs but my heart says “Go Giants”.

Super Bowl Sunday
Urban Legends of the Super Bowl
By David Emery, About.com

In an LA Times article a few years back, renowned folklorist Alan Dundes ventured to explain why Super Bowl Sunday has become the focus of so many larger-than-life “urban beliefs” in the United States — beliefs such as:

• Every year on Super Bowl Sunday the water systems of major cities are in danger of collapsing because of so many simultaneous toilet flushings at half-time (FALSE).
• More women are physically abused by spouses and boyfriends on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year (DISPUTED).
• Two-thirds of all the avocados sold yearly in the United States are purchased during the three weeks prior to the Super Bowl for making guacamole dip (EXAGGERATED).
• There are more pizza deliveries made during Super Bowl Sunday than on any other day of the year (TRUE).
• Disneyland becomes a veritable ghost town on the day of the Super Bowl because so many Americans are planted in front of their TV sets (FALSE).
• The stock market predictably fluctuates up or down the Monday after the Super Bowl depending on which league wins (PARTLY TRUE).

Wrote Dundes: “Every culture’s legends express that culture’s values. Super Bowl legends usually involve numbers and a sense of enormity. The idea of big numbers, of being bigger than other people, is very American.”

Or maybe we’re just prone to exaggerate. Who isn’t?

Sewage systems collapse?

Pumped up though they may be, Americans’ cherished Super Bowl beliefs aren’t entirely without foundation, Times reporter Tony Perry concluded. Take that story about water systems collapsing. As it happens, a Salt Lake City water main did burst open right in the middle of the Super Bowl broadcast back in the ’80s. But though news stories at the time attributed the mishap to an excess of toilet flushings, no evidence has ever been found to confirm that. See Perry’s article, “Super Bowl Lore Part of the Game” and Public Utilities Director Leroy Hooton’s account of what really happened in Salt Lake City.

Increase in spousal abuse?

The allegation that violence against women increases on Super Sunday, first raised by the watchdog group Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting, remains controversial because the only evidence ever put forth to support it was anecdotal. Cecil “The Straight Dope” Adams tells the skeptical side of the story in a column dated April 2000 and About’s own Buddy T. rebuts the skeptics in his 2001 coverage of what has come to be characterized as a “good ol’ boys’ backlash.”

Spike in avocado sales?

Without question, the Super Bowl is one of the major events accounting for the largest share of avocado sales annually — 49.5 million pounds is this year’s estimage for big game sales — but not the major event. According to the California Avocado Association, Cinco de Mayo ranks first in avocado sales for the year, followed by Memorial Day, and Super Bowl Sunday comes in third (CBS News).

Most pizza deliveries in a single day?

True. Domino’s alone expects to deliver more than 1.2 million pizzas on Super Bowl Sunday this year, a 30 percent increase over normal Sunday deliveries. Papa John’s projects a 50 percent increase. “Pizza has become to Super Bowl Sunday what eggs are to Easter. Or candy canes to Christmas,” reports USA Today. AP has some numbers.

Disneyland / Disney World become ghost towns?

False. Business at the theme parks is slower on Super Bowl Sunday than on typical weekend days in January, but “not much slower,” a Disney spokesperson has been quoted as saying (MSNBC).

Super Bowl outcome a stock market indicator?

To date, it has been accurate more often than not, says Forbes. “The theory holds that when a team from the original National Football League wins the championship, stocks rise,” explains Forbes writer John Dubosz. “When a team from the now-defunct American Football League wins, that’s bearish.” The so-called Super Bowl Indicator has an astonishing 85% success rate — not that I’d recommend staking your portfolio on it.

Find out more

MSNBC’s Bill Briggs surveys these and other Super Bowl legends with a more caustic eye in “Super Bull!, as does Charlie Patton of the Florida Times-Union. About.com’s James Alder keeps the stats on the Super Bowl Stock Market Indicator, while economist Mike Moffat debunks a related urban legend holding that the outcome of the big game predicts overall economic growth for the year. Cecil Adams plumbs the depths of the toilet flushing legend and while he’s at it reveals what became of that guy who used to hold up the John 3:16 signs at televised ball games — not that you should necessarily care.

Super Bowl XLII: Full Coverage - A team effort by About.com

Why does poor grammar and foul language give people fifteen minutes of fame?  I recently watched a certain singing contest on television and one particular person is now being interviewed on several shows including Howard Stern for using poor grammar and foul language.  I don’t think that person has anything to offer the mass media except ideas of grandeur.

I use lots of poor grammar and foul language and nobody ‘be’ knocking on my door for an interview.  I must not be at the right place at the right time.  I have two people who read my blog and watch my videos.  Why can’t I have fifteen minutes of fame?  I put a lot into my blog and videos.  I talk a lot about how much of a douche bag I am and how much I love drinking beer.  Is that not exciting enough?

Should I be talking about who should win the Primary in Pennsylvania?  Let’s be honest the Democrats should take PA.  I think Pennsylvanians like the red, white, and blue donkey.  There is nothing better then a colorful jackass.

Maybe I should mention that I think it is ridiculous that Lindsey Lohan must complete two four hours days in a morgue to fulfill her drunk-driving punishment.  Celebrity or not, lets do it the old-fashioned way.  Put her drunk-driven ass in jail and let her sweat it out. May I remind everyone reading, if a person kills someone in a drunk-driving accident, they do not go to the morgue.  They go to jail.  Unfortunately for the victim, they do go to the morgue.  Why should someone have to be forced to look at some old guy’s shriveled up ball sack in the morgue anyways?

Back to my main point, I want my fifteen minutes of fame.  This is why word of mouth is so important.  Spread the word about the Moment With Will.  Buy a t-shirt, tell a friend, and kiss a toad, whatever you want to do.

I just introduced some new t-shirts and stickers will follow soon.  I will be making business cards as well but word of mouth is the most important.  You could try bringing it up in conversation.  For example, when around a group of friends say, “I was looking up herpes medication and I stumbled upon this awesome website called the Moment With Will.” While you are watching adult films with a friend, casually mention this awesome website.  You could say, “That boner is awesome, check out the Moment With Will.”  See how simple that is?  Try drinking a whole beer in one minute then burping the words, moment with will.  In fact, record the burp and I will use it in my next video.  Try mentioning it at one those kissing parties.  Say something like this, “Man, your ass is chapped, check out the Moment With Will.”

Feel free to email me, if you need more ways to how to spread the word.  I can give you many more examples for many more social settings.

That’s all for now, buy a t-shirt.

This is the new Shrug, Half Turn, Clench t-shirt. Everyone should buy one. I know they are expensive but consider the cause, lets get the MWW on the map.

I was just reading this article called ‘Web Achievements 101: Things To Do Before You Die‘ and would definitely like to accomplish at least one of those things on the list.  I do have high hopes for the Moment with Will but I don’t want to get too outrageous with my expectations.  In fact, I’m confident to say that the Moment with Will will probably never make me any money and I’m okay with that.  The Moment with Will has always been a way for me to vent and of course talk about random topics.So anyway before I got off track, one of the things on the list is to have a video featured on You Tube.  Having a video featured on YouTube means it will be posted on the front page of YouTube for all to see.  I want one of my videos on the front page of YouTube before I expire.  In fact, my videos can already be viewed on YouTube but none have been lucky enough to be selected.I did mention that I don’t want to get too outrageous with my expectations for the Moment with Will but yet I still want a video featured on YouTube.  Having a video featured on YouTube is quite a feat and it will happen.

I’m only saying this because the 26^th Moment with Will video will be posted on January 6, 2008.  I think it is the best video yet.  It’s just Will being Will.  I should get an award because of how good the new video is and I can’t wait to show everyone.

The reason the video is so good is simple, I’m awesome.

Spread the word, watch the video, and make history happen.

Yes, that’s right.  A website called Whiskipedia launched January 1, 2008.  It’s one of those wikis, you know wiki, wiki, wiki, put the needle on the record.  Anyways, it’s everything you want to know about whiskey.  Read it, then maybe drink whiskey assuming you like whiskey and you are older enough. Check it out by clicking here.

Later

This year was awful for the Moment with Will.  I have to apologize to the two people who read it.  I made very little effort this year in posting commentary and videos.  Last year, I posted almost double the material. I will make it my undying effort to post more this year because believe me, I have plenty to say.  I will have more to say about everything.  In my opinion, that is the one thing that has made this site so popular.

It will be back to basics.  When I say back to basics I mean back to basics.  Actually, back to basics means I will be making more fun of people and using more explicit language.  As a matter of fact, I will be posting the 26^th MWW video on January 6, 2008.  The video is definitely back to basics.  It is Will being Will not Will being some quirky character with some witty name like Hugh Chardon.The MWW in 2008 will be all Will all the time.  I will be taking back full reigns.  The MWW has always been about me.  I invite everyone to Ask Will this year.  I invite everyone to give me serious feedback.

In 2008, I will generate a MWW buzz and not a buzz from drinking six beers.  You know when whole bunch of people think something is cool for a couple of weeks.  That is what I will be creating this year.  People will be talking at the water cooler about the MWW this year.

Thanks for reading and Happy New Year.

Yes it is true, we had a wing off. We were celebrating Joel’s birthday and thought why not have a wing off. We had three contestants, Amy, Joel, and I. Edguardo was our special guest judge for the event.

The Results:

Grandma Joel’s Wings - Edguardo says, “mmmhhmm.”
Stinky Ceasar Wings - Edguardo says, “they’re actually not that bad.”
Sweet Heat Wings - Edguardo says, “good”.

The Winner: Sweet Heat Wings

During the 80’s, the Hoff was definitely a role model of mine.  He drove a cool car and beat up bad guys in Knight Rider.  I still get excited when I see Bonnie, KITT’s mechanic.  She wanted to be with me but I was too young.  Those types of relationships are illegal in some states.

Anyway, while I was doing my normal check up on the news routine every morning, I stumbled upon an article then confirmed a new Knight Rider made for TV movie.  The article even included a picture of the new KITT.  The article did not indicate a timeframe for the release of new movie but did mention a David Hasselhoff return.  Click here for the article.

I now have to break out my Knight Rider toy that talked when you pushed down the license plate.   Good times.  I love 80’s TV and still hoping for a Small Wonder reunion show.

NBC unveils the new customized KITT Ford Mustang featured in the Knight Rider made for TV Movie.

I know every year I mention the something about the Winter Holiday Season.  For those of you unfamiliar with the Winter Holiday Season, it can be defined as the time period between Thanksgiving and New Years.I just want to stress the fact that I’m getting fatter thinking about it.  The excitement of random eats excites me.  I wrote poem of glee with that last statement.  Noise here…

The excitement of random eats excites me.
Drinking cider and egg nog makes me pee.
All I wanted this year is a f**kin’ Wii!

That poem came from the heart.  I hope all of you out there enjoyed it.  Being artsy is not as easy as you might think.  It took me five seconds to come up with that poem.  I love myself.

Anyway, the important thing about the holiday season is commerce.  We spend endless amounts of money on gifts, food, booze, hookers, bubble bath, hosiery, S’mores, decorations, candles, trees, etc…  Think about it, we can’t enjoy the holidays without all the extras.  Spending large amounts of money is an unbeknownst tradition.  I couldn’t go a whole year without a Christmas tree and a big slab of meat for Christmas dinner.  That stuff is not cheap.  Let’s be honest, fifty bucks for a tree that is already dead but we will still spend it.  Come on!

The bottom-line is that I want a Wii and I can’t get one because people are buying them all up.  Stop buying the Wii until I get one.  I am jealous of all those kids out there who will be playing Super Mario Galaxy on Christmas Day.  I dislike them a lot.

Buy a t-shirt and remember to Ask Joel.  Happy Holidays.