Moment with Will

If I’m not fat enough already, the holidays are here. Every year, I tell myself to go easy on the food during the holidays. It never happens and I end up eating like a hog, actually a hog with a sweet ass haircut.

This year has been no different then last. I ate my fair share of food but Thanksgiving is never my nemesis. It is the time between Thanksgiving and New Years.

You know that time when everyone you know has a holiday party to include your employer. You eat, drink, and be merry, way too much. Of course, all the parties have to have cakes and cookies. I can’t resist the taste of baked goods and the holidays are know for baked goods.

Anyway, the point of this post is for general awareness so lets try to keep everyone a little less fat this year.

Try this to start, elect a person responsible for ensuring a modest portion of food is given to each guest. That could be the person carving the ham or turkey. It’s natural for the host to ask the guest to tell them when they have enough food. If they want more, it’s all on them. You did your job.

Be a good host and even consider portion size. You can even adjust the portion size with baked goods. Make or serve the cakes and cookies in smaller sizes. Even try spreading the goodness out over an evening. Don’t put out all of the pieces of cake or cookies out at once.

I’m no expert so if you think my ideas are stupid, I don’t blame you for thinking that.

The thing I love about Thanksgiving is food. I know I should be giving thanks for a fruitful harvest season but I’m not. I love turkey and all the fixings. The meat, the stuffing, the gravy. Could you ask for anything more?  Oh wait, football and a parade.

Some people might enjoy Thanksgiving for the fellowship of family and friends amidst a cozy late autumn afternoon. Hey, whatever floats your boat.

Some might even look forward to Thanksgiving as the gateway to the impending winter holiday. Some may even say “the day before Black Friday.”

With any tradition, there always has to be a break from it.  Right? Some might eat soup with the hearty Thanksgiving feast and some might eat a Turducken.

I know you are thinking, what the heck is a Turducken?  Simple, tur for turkey, duc for duck, and ken for chicken.  Basically, it’s a turkey and a chicken holding back the only one of those birds that flies.  THE MIGHTY DUCK, quack.

Anyway, why the sudden demand for the combination of the kings of poultry?  I’m not sure. However, I am sure that it does not sit well with the Bird Rights Activists who think its cruel to stuff a chicken inside a duck and then stuff a duck and a chicken inside a turkey.  It’s just savage.

I’m sure those activists are outraged but just imagine people eating their bacon-covered Turducken and saying, “This ain’t no plain ole Thanksgiving dinner, we got a Turducken, bitches.”

Before I conclude, I’m confident that the Turducken is a layered concoction of poultry deliciousness. Personally, I will not break from Thanksgiving tradition until the creation of porn, better known as potatoes and corn.

That’s all I got for now, Happy Thanksgiving.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turducken

I preparation for the next MWW video, I’m asking all the loyal readers to email me a question or questions. I have read emails in the past, Reading Emails and Reading Emails 2.

I would like to have Reading Emails a more regular segment but I need help keeping it fresh and entertaining, otherwise I would be reading the same emails or telling people why my ass is so big.

Again this is my open invitation to all of you to send me emails and I will answer them. I can even have special guests assist me with answering the questions. Wouldn’t that be fun?

Please make the questions interesting. Ask me about anything but try to keep the questions relatively appropriate and friendly. Don’t ask me why I’m such a douche bag. We all know why I’m such a d-bag. That’s what I do.

With that being said, send me lots of emails. Click here to send me an email.  I hope to hear from you all soon. I have nothing better to do, so please hurry.

Click here for more photos from the parade.

I witnessed a travesty this weekend.  Some people came over to my house Saturday night and did the unthinkable. 

They put their hands into my peanut butter jar to dip pretzel nibblers.  Can you believe that?  That is disgusting and not cool.  I wouldn’t go to someone’s house and put my hand in their peanut butter jar or any other thing that I could fit my hand.

How can I be expected to make a sandwich with peoples’ hand germs in my peanut butter?

Here is a simple solution, spoon out the desired amount of peanut butter onto a plate so that I’m not having to deal with hand scabs or hang nails in my peanut butter sandwich. 

New MWW videos will continue thanks to special financing.  For your information, the camcorder we used to make videos was broken.  The tape used to clean the camcorder got stuck inside the tape feed.

To kickoff the purchase, a new video was filmed over the weekend.  In keeping with the MWW video tradition, the new video is a few minutes unlike the last the video, Peters Wood in the Morning, that was 16 minutes.  We all thought it was time to get back to basics.  Short, to the point, and partner assisted stretching.

Stay tuned for the new video which chronicles the process of preparing for a MWW video.  I think it is very funny but you can see for yourself very soon.