eBay makes me laugh
Below is an item auctioned on eBay:
So… in the early 90’s I was a struggling prostitute. I worked long hard hours, but was lucky to bring home more than about $35.00 a night. I was definately good at what I did, but I worked in a small town with lots of competition and few customers.
I could barely pay my bills. I was always moving in with different roommates, and a lot of times living in my car in between apartments. I tried getting different jobs, but in a small town everybody talks. No one wanted to hire one of the town hookers.
One night after I finished entertaining one of my usual customers I set my hand out so I could be paid. Instead of handing me the measley spare change he reached behind the bach seat of his Geo Metro and handed me a black garbage bag. I spit in his face, grabbed the bag. then slammed the door.
I went home and opened the bag. There were some old dish towels, some kids toys (I didn’t have any kids at that time), shoes that weren’t my size, and this dress that is up for auction. I think it was all stuff that belonged to his wife.
I figured what the hell I’ll wear the dress. It looks good on me. The next night at “work” I was entertaining a new customer. I think he was an out-of-towner. I’d never seen him before. When we were all finished he asked me how much, and I said “fifteen” He pulled some money out of his wallet and stuffed it in my bra. I didn’t count it in front of him. I never do. I just figure I’ll take what I can get. I went home and slipped out of the black dress and pulled the money out of my bra. I almost choked on my hot pocket when I saw that he gave me fifteen hundred dollar bills.
The next week I worked and nothing unusual happened until next time I wore the dress again. I was with a regular client and when we were done he gave me $950. I figured he made a mistake and I got the hell out of there before he realized what he had done. I definately noticed that both times I made large amounts of money I was wearing that dress.
I started wearing that dress all the time and continued to make substantially more money than normal. However, each time it will be a little less than before. Finally I got to the point where I was making about the same amount as before I got the dress. However, I was able to save enough money to move far from that rundown town. I now have a respectful job and this old hooker dress does not fit into the dress code where I now work.
I am hoping that maybe this dress may somehow bring some luck to someone else now that I have no more use for it. I am in no way recommending that the winner of this auction start prostituting. In fact I strongly discourage it.
About the Dress:
This is a sexy, provocative, black velvet dress. It has an opening for the stomach to show. It has a big rhinestone rectangle that accentuates the cleavage. Unfortunately half the rhinestones are missing. Tight fitted, stretchy material. Size Medium. Hand wash. Made in the U.S.A. It’s very dated looking. Would be great for an 80’s party.